How to be productive after a ‘late evening’
Woohoo! A topic request from reader number 3. It’s almost like receiving a commission. So the question from said reader was:
“Dear pressreturn.com – how do you manage to be so productive after going out and getting mashed up the night before? And when you do it, why do I invariably get the shitty end of the stick, because you’ve taken my boyfriend down the ‘too much beer’ path, and he’s incoherent when he gets home.”
(I took some editorial license with the exact phrasing of the question)
Ah, yes. I’ve been accused of this many a time. My excuse to my own inamorata is usually “It was not me, it was the others”. But that’s usually met with one of those ‘knowing looks’ and no sympathy whatsoever.
But onto the real meat of the question: how to be productive. I think I can speak fairly authoritatively on this subject as, over the years, I have had many, many mornings where I just look piggy-eyed into the mirror and tell whoever it is that’s looking back at me: “you never learn, do you?”.
There are two ways to feel better:
1. Dare of the hog (as I like to say), i.e. drink more beer. This is rarely a viable option, but works like a charm.
2. The scientific approach:
fact A: we’re carbon-based life-forms and we’ve just woken up feeling like death. We obviously need more carbon.
fact B: alcohol is diuretic. We’ve urinated too much, hopefully not in the bed or in the closet (again). So we need water.
Put these two together and what do we get? Carbohydrates, of course! That’s the secret. Potato chips, toast, french fries — all good stuff. Wash it down with Coke. Not diet Coke – fat Coke. Get the belching going. Ten minutes later – you’re good to go.
Right. Now to put some of this into action …
